TRANSPARENT(s) at their FINEST

Everyone has a story, a testimonial or simply put, an experience that put them in the trajectory that they are in today.  No one is alone.  I’m thankful to capture moments like these.  I’m thankful for the people who hear my story and also oblige to share a bit of their story with me.  A piece of advice to you: never be afraid to share your story, you’d be surprised with how many people share a common story with you.

If you want to be featured as a future TRANSPARENT, email transparency.is.beautiful@gmail.com and we can set up a time for a 5 minute interview on how transparency affects you and your life along with answering some customized interview questions.

Happy month of LOVE

For the month of February I asked some transparent questions concerning relationships, love, symbolism of love.  Check out the answers to some of my most revealing questions and my conclusion to the answers. Happy Valentine’s Day to all!

   Q: What have been your greatest love(s)/what brings you joy?

  • “sleeping in with no responsibilities”
  • “my son’s smile”
  • “books, family, being fit, traveling, warm chocolate chip cookies”
  • “my husband and my family”
  • “my family, my fiancé, and close friends…in that order”

Some loves are self explanatory such as significant other and family. It brings a sense of how we were brought up and the foundational meaning of love. Other loves can be more sentimental and emphasize the simple things of life that one may take for granted while others are favorite leisures and pastimes.

Q: If you are in a relationship, where did you first meet your love?

  • “in college in the year of 2003”
  • “we met at a basketball practice”
  • “at a cookout”
  • “through a mutual friend”

There is no set place where you are supposed to meet your love. It can be impromptu or in an established setting.

Q: If in a relationship, when did you realize you love/had love for your partner?

  • “when I would get butterflies when I would see him”
  • “like a year and a half in”
  • “from our first phone conversation and realizing he was really relatable to me”

Having butterflies when seeing someone may sound cliche or something out of a novel, but those actions are real. There is no defined time to finding your love, some may take some time, while others are just instant.

Q: What has been your most memorable date? What did you do?

  • “Valentine’s Day in Dubai 2015”
  • “the first date walking around the harbor and eating Rita’s”
  • “a week getaway at a hotel while discovering the local markets/eateries of Lagos”

Some remember the vacations as the most memorable dates because they are usually exotic and/or in places we normally don’t go. When you go with your significant other, that trip becomes even more magical because its with someone you admire and love. Other memorable dates usually are the first date because its usually the first impression that you get from that other person.

Q: Do you still keep in touch with your first love? Why or why not?

  • “not really-he doesn’t believe in friends with exes”
  • “no. I’ve moved on”
  • “hahaha no….”
  • “nope. lol. He has a new girlfriend every week and I refuse to be drained mentally by keeping up with that mess 😂”
  • “my first love is soon to be my husband, but I keep in touch at minimum with my first relationship because I believe in being cordial and we did not end on bad terms”

The general consensus is NO. Some people just don’t want to be reminded of the past, while others might be hurt if they choose to keep in contact.

Q: How do you define love?

  • “action and sacrifice”
  • “unconditional”
  • “the strongest feeling that expresses positive attributes”

I found it unique love was defined equally as a noun just as it was as an adjective. Love is unconditional, love is kind, love is positive, and is an action and sacrifice. Probably one of the strongest nouns you can ever find in the dictionary when referring to relationships.

Q: What piece of advice would you give about how to stay in a relationship?

  • “Define YOUR relationship for yourself”
  • “the key is communication and compromise”
  • “communicate!”
  • “communicate, be honest with each other, and learn how to understand one another’s feelings”

Transparency is key and communication seems to be the most important piece of advice towards maintaining a relationship. Every relationship is unique, so it is important to define your relationship as a couple, but for yourself. Empathy is crucial to better understand your significant other, which can also better yourself. Compromise also includes sacrifice and dedication towards the relationship, and without compromise, relationships do not last long.

Q: Which is more important in a relationship? Communication or honesty?

  • Communication- 75%
  • Honesty- 25%

Self-explanatory.